Shhh! SILENT DIARY
Now here is a strange thing, A page, seeming to have been torn out of a notebook has been found on the road. it appears to be in the form of a diary, and reads thus:
I have arrived, drenched and beaten to bits .
My leg is mangled badly, but strangely enough I feel calm.
This beach is so soothing, but I fear if I am not to find help soon my leg will demise .
I ventured into the island, and found a small town which seems friendly enough. I need to be cautious though. A friendly lady working the farmland here, took me to the Healer who aided my leg..It seems I have stumbled upon a gem here, it is by far better then Iceland.
I woke to a a blaze outside the church, as I staggered out the door I was met by a fiery cart that was burning. As I cast a spell to extinguish the fire, the child who had been there/ ran away screaming “Demon”, I surely hope it is not how people see me… But I need to keep a low profile with this magic as I settle here.
The page is signed: “Silent ”
With the sheer brilliance of a fabled detective (and the fact the note was signed), your Editor has deduced that it was written by none other than the newly arrived Priest, ‘Silent.’
However, what is disquieting about this epistle is that its author freely admits using magic. Now, not wishing to prejudice any judgement that may arise…. but shouldn’t he be tried and then burned at the stake? I mean come on villagers, we haven’t had a decent execution for ages.
IS THAT LEG BANDAGED OR ARE YOU JUST PLEASED TO SEE ME?
If you happen to see the new Priest, who has the unlikely name of ‘Silent’. I mean how can one who is supposed to be spreading the word of God be called Silent?… I digress… The first thing you will notice, is the enormous bandage on one of his lower limbs. I suspect that our resident healer Mysti, having rather a slack period in the hospital somewhat overdid the bandages as a relief from her boredom.
My s̶p̶y̶ reporter failed to note the most important details that interest our readers, like were there red candles involved?, was everyone dressed? (leg apart) and of course where was Drindel’s goat?
DRINDEL MEETS THE PRIEST
But more about this Priest, when Drindel met him, she was happily clearing out the remains of her cart from the Church, including the disgusting remains of the fish that even the village cats were avoiding. Like all juvenile delinquents, she just loves playing with fire, so bored with cleaning, and with the stink of the fish in her nose, she set fire to the lot, cart, fish and all. By this time Riven had appeared and having made disparaging comments about Drindles cleanliness and the state of her clothes, stood as if transfixed by the conflagration. The Priest on the other hand reacted in a most un-priestly way, by calling forth magic to dowse the flames. Well obviously this upset poor little Drindel who, screaming ‘Demon’ at the top of her voice over and over again ran headlong from the area as if the hounds of hell were at her heels.
CURSES I THREW UP!
Having it seems become interested in the recent exorcism of Dart and his subsequent disappearance, the Priest Silent, ventured back to the Hospital and sitting down with Misty and Mysti (is the collective term therefore not ‘Foggy’?); explores the possibility of removing the curse laid upon them by old Miss Esmeralda at the recent exorcism. Doing some strange things with his cross; and ignoring the nearby ravings of Councillor Riven, he proceeds to draw the offending curse within himself. How do I know this? Well because he then staggered to the door and with an amazing display of projectile vomiting, narrowly missed my well hidden s̶n̶i̶t̶c̶h̶ reporter. Still the girls can relax no safe in the knowledge that Miss Esmeralda, bashing them with her stick apart, can do them no further harm.
Our intrepid priest then embarked upon an unlikely quest by going into the forest to find the reclusive Hunter Veldrin. Now everyone knows that Veldrin is not only a grumpy sod, but he also refuses to have anything to do with religion. So it was a much chastened priest who stumbled back across the river, with some rather pithy Anglo Saxon words ringing in his ears and the threat of an arrow in the rear end were he to return.
WEEKLY CHURCH SERVICES TO RESUME (Veldrin heads for the hills)
This Sunday past, there was a very successful Church Service held at the Church of St Vitus on the hill. It must have been successful because Miss Esmeralda attended and didn’t curse anyone. So cashing in on this success, the Priestly Silent, says he intends to continue to hold these services on a weekly basis and/or every Sunday whichever comes first..
A WEEPY BARDIC
Bucket loads of tears were shed at a crowded bardic session in the Tavern last night those stories included was a tale of woe from Iceland told by Silent and a heart wrenching tale from Jade which had everyone in floods of tears. However the new faces, well at least those who were not swept out of the doors on the deluge of grief. were very welcome; and included a rather fetching barmaid Leana dancing to a highland reel… or was it reeling to a highland dance?
If any of us could doubt what a callous and cold creature Veldrin the Hunter is; his actions after the bardic speak volumes. A fox (Vulpes Vulpes) was bent of snaffling a chicken from Miss Misty. She on the other hand wanted it to go. They argued, well Misty argued the Fox tried to bite her. Up stepped her new neighbour who bravely confronted the red one; it tried to bite her. So armed only with his bandaged leg, who should arrive but the Priest Silent. He confronted the fox, the fox tried to bite him, he hit the fox over the head, it tried to bite him. It was at this point, with no warning, no attempt to help frighten the creature away, The Hunter raised his bow, fired an arrow into the poor wee thing and down it went, dead as the proverbial doornail. Those present were stunned and Veldrin?, well he just walked away; with neer so much as a backward glance.