Cryer # 195

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RIP
MISS ESMERALDA

This Notice was received in the Editors office:

On Sunday, the day of our lord, April 21 and the first day of spring, our beloved MIss Esmeralda did go to meet her maker.  Present at the time of her passing were Miss Mysti, healer, a newcomer a monk with a good heart , and the hunter Veldrin.

Her body lies in the hospital and will need to be buried .  Silent the priest is willing to perform services at her beloved abbey.

Please pass this on to all who knew and loved
Miss Esmeralda
She will be missed.

Editors comment: It is understood that she was buried in haste, prior to her Last Will and Testament was discovered. So for anyone who missed her funeral, it is probable she will have to be dug up and replanted elsewhere; oh and erm Sans Boots.

There are of course questions arising from this untimely death, to wit:

Why had the old lady written a Will? was she aware of her imminent passing?
Why a few days before her passing was she shriven by the priest Silent?
Who was the Monk who was in attendance at her death?
Why was the Hunter Veldrin present?
Why did she not die in her home peacefully?
Why was she buried with unseemly haste; and of course
What did she die of?

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***STOP STOP  PRESS***

ORC ATTACK
(No not a killer whale – the Green Kind)

An Orc, apparently having sniffed the aroma of human child in the shape of drindle decided that she would make an extremely acceptable lunch. However, like a she leopard defending her cub, the Elf Runa leapt to her defence and persuaded the Orc to feast on a sheep instead (always a sensible option as the wool gives a fine flossing action on the teeth).

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DART THE NAKED TRUTH

Dart having communed with nature, made some dramatic appearances and from henceforth may even be called “The Naked Bard”

Here is his latest:

His eyes are bright, his skin is tight across his mended frame.
He wears a leaf and weaves a wreath, no clothing to his name.

Now  freed of tree, (as plain to see,) of mushroom not a trace!
Of  ale and mead he has no need, yet a smile is on his face.

He wanders free and delights to see the creatures in their play,
the winged thing he calls his friend, and is careful where he lay.

No flesh he eats, nor fish nor beast, he finds an ample fare
in the fruits and things that the forest brings as he discovers what is there.

Could Gaia now through her magic somehow have changed the Bard for good?
Will he never give in to the ways of the inn, never drink till his head’s made of wood?

And will he join with his lute, and his pipe and his flute with the elves in Wylds here in Dee?
Or will we find him again on the floor of the inn with his tankard spilled for all to see?

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DID IT DIE OF BOARDOM?

The boar captured by Veldrin and kept in the cell near the city gates was found to be dead even more remarkable, the cell doors were so badly damaged, it would seem as if an earthquake had struck. Suspiciously above the damaged gates, and inscription was spotted; see sketch made by our resident artist:   The Cell, The Boar, The inscription

As we all know readers one can ignite putrid gases that emanate from rotting bodies (we shall refrain from description of an experiment we know of to prove this) ; we also know that the black powder used in cannons can be used to cause violent effects such as those seen on the gates of the cell. Could this be therefore the result of an explosion caused by black powder or did someone smoke too close to the by now overly fragrant pig?

This is what the leader of the Human Council Cali had to say about it when she issued the following  statement:

“The cell in which the boar was kept has been found broken into, and the boar dead. Cas, Leana, and I have drug (sic) the rotting animal into the river, and managed to chase out a few rats. There is a sign posted above the door to the cell which reads “Here see what you get, When you make a wild creature a pet.”
I have to admit, I am furious. I suggested long ago that the boar be released, but of course I would not act unless there was a majority vote to do so, and there wasn’t. It would have been far more merciful to have released the boar, and then hunted it, rather than kept it locked up as we did.
Next time there is a dangerous animal roaming about the city, have the mercy to kill the beast instead of making it wait for it’s inevitable end.
Signed,
Cali- Leader of the Dee Human Council”

Editors comment: So it would seem dear reader the boars sad demise was due to bureaucratic protocol and possibly a surfeit of apples, causing an excess of gas just waiting for a source of igniton? …………………………….    But wait! who wrote the inscription and why?

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ALIENS SIGHTED IN DEE?

The following report was filed by Jessie Miggins:

A silver skinned creature has come to Dee to speak to the dead!

Ms. Miggins reading the cryer is interrupted by a creature towering over her, wearing a silver skin and speaking as godly.  Once demanded to show him where the dead rest she sadly thinks of loved ones who rest and declines to do such. At such point he promises her death and leaves threatening to come as she parishes and speak to her cold dead body..

sighting of an unseelie Our Resident artist sketched this from the description provided by Ms Miggins

This must have been an unnerving experience for the poor woman which would no doubt explain her recent withdrawal from society; one wonders indeed if she has taken the Veil, the sightings of her being so infrequent. OR could it possibly b, that she has been abducted by the very Aliens she reported?

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SUMMARY OF THE MINUTES OF THE RECENT HUMAN COUNCIL MEETING

The council held a meeting one week last Sunday. Here are a few of the key points discussed.

-Security: The short story- we need more of it. The Legion is looking for new recruits who are good with a weapon to protect the village from any possible danger. Also, any trustworthy villager who is in need of a weapon, but has no way of getting hold of one, can come and ask Cali for one. She will ba glad to help.

-Education: Miss Mysti has brought up the idea of creating a school house for children, and others who wish to learn to read and write. More information about this will be sent to the cryer as progress is made.

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RETRACTION OF A RECENT ARTICLE

A note was received in the Cryer Office thus:

To all Cryer Readers,
I will make this as short as possible. The report of my supposed rampage in the last cryer was false. It is true that I have been attempting to make it harder to just walk into the castle grounds, but I never started “foaming at the mouth” over it.

Also, a quick note about Yaron’s accused drunkenness: Yes, he was drinking at the St. Patrick’s day party, we all were (with the exception of Jade of course), he was likely on the roof to search out a new guard post, and even I have fallen into that pile of fodder a few times.

I assure you that these attacks against us are merely an attempt to cause panic and distrust of our council, and all council members are reliable and in our right minds.

Signed,
Cali- Leader of the Human Council of Dee

Of course the only reaction to this note (apart from a lot of swearing and the words “I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶d̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶t̶e̶s̶t̶e̶t̶h̶ ̶o̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶”); is to withdraw the article with our full apologies and castrate the ̶s̶n̶i̶t̶c̶h̶, erm reporter who provided the original  l̶i̶e̶s̶ information.

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TEL COIA – DAY OF LIFE

(Traditional seasonal Celebration Day if the Wylds)

The Tribe of the Children of Gaia sit in attendance of those who have grievances and other issues.

Petitions to the Cora can be made, small gifts for the tribe should be brought.
The Tribe Council then judges those issues an declare the outcome of their judgments.

Once all petitioners have come before the tribe council and all issues have been addressed, the tribe assembles once more for a closing ceremony, wherein a final blessing of the Mother is invoked.

Traditionally, following the closing of the day, the tribe retires to enjoy themselves as a group, in a fine festival and revelry commemorating the coming together of all the varied groups that comprise the tribe.

The End of Day Celebration – The Tribe gathers in a convenient location and eats, drinks, and is merry. The Day has ended and all judgments have been given.  Old grievances have been closed, and those who may have had issues with each other are encouraged to let go of any old grudges and enjoy a good time with the others.

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About Runa The Wild Elf

Wild Elf, nut addict, sleepless, silly
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